inner relations (on my blog) | autumn 2010

click on graphic to enlarge | pdf-version with active links here

warmly carried away by the collective energy of converging/reflecting in the last hours of a year, i chose to visualize the output that i generated here on my Blog this autumn :) i could have used different data like visitor statistics, number of comments or links to external content – instead i felt like mapping out all 60 posts (6-8ish were before the autumn wave) to see their inner relations as i noticed that i keep relating to previous posts of myself (as well as an increasing mindfulness about people/field-credits). in an extremely extroverted sharing-culture it feels healthy for me to do this rather “introverted” mapping and only relate to myself… in that way i get more of a sense of the breaths of this creature through me without shooting off into the vast world-ocean with every spark. a few months ago i started this blog-experiment as a public diary for thoughts. it warmly invites for conversation/inspiration – but firstly it was and is a channel for me to put words on what calls for expression in me

i am not sure how it will continue (which is great!), i am sure it will. i have a huge massive load of delicious notes of thoughts/perceptions on various papers in my pocket and on my computer screen – it feels too much to start somewhere right now. however, as i know myself i trust it will collapse into pieces that are meaningful to share… eventually i want to learn more about the source where my perception feeds from as i continue to find it magic :) i might also change the “look and feel” of this blog; design, blogroll, about me… it might all need an update :)

the last months have been a VERY accelerated period of self-discovery and growth… i am in between no-words and many-words and seeking for other forms of expression and impression… parts of is captured here, other parts on Tw/FB and other online playgrounds, parts are values generated in relations and lots of it is moving inside, under the radar…

it was interesting to build this wheel (used Pages) as i connected to what i wrote by quickly scanning it for links (i could have also programmed an algorithm for that but wanted to do it manually – but anyone interested in a blog-scanning tool??) and i came to think about things like that the pointers always go backwards… and how future-pointers would look like? i mean i wrote many times that “i will write about that” but that wasn’t concretely named though of course, as i am keeping myself open for emergence. however, what i eventually feel like what’s happening is that i am learning more about myself by writing my thoughts out and referencing around like crazy… this graph is only a rough manifestation of that, reduced to the visible data, so there is a multitude of invisible data and relational gems behind that :) for instance the “complexifying & simplifying” post was a very important one but doesn’t get referenced so much here because it is rather new. also interesting to look for referencing-chains like the latest post on the hyper-app relates to the process-creature and that to symbols & meaning and that to the territory-scoping bounce and that back to impulse & expression… :) so there are many meta-narratives floating through, above and beyond this body of content.

it’s fun to read what i wrote months or just weeks ago, it still makes sense but i smile a lot about my use of words and am sometimes amused and embarrassed, which is probably a very good indicator for development?! :) however, it remains as important pieces that i hope can be meaningful for others too. thanks for being on this journey with me and others, times where orbits are closer, times with loose or no connection… all good, we are an evolutionary family and impulses will find their way… and it goes on and on

i am nurturing warm and glowing gratitude in my heart for all the encounters this year with people, spirit-beings and future-calls inlife, online, in dreams, in imagination and between and beyond…

a new breath is unfolding, i feel it coming

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Benjamin Aaron Degenhart

Currently pursuing a Masters in Computational Science and Engineering at TU Munich.

6 thoughts on “inner relations (on my blog) | autumn 2010”

  1. Thank you, Benjamin….I am grateful to have you as part of my circle. May your breaths in the new year enliven so many ideas and people and create so many connections….that your spirit naturally rises to where it best benefit All.

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  2. hallo benjamin,
    you are a sunshine in my life, also seeing as a picture of the inner realtions on your blog,
    hugs and best wishes for winter, spring, summer and autuum relations in 2011, gertrud

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      1. thank you Benjamin.. good to be in touch.
        sorry I realize I wasn’t very clear in the question.. actually I was wondering about method for doing the network analysis you did for the inner relations. Again, good work!

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        1. oh, i see – thanks for inquiring into it Diego.
          well, i thought about programming a little spider that runs through my posts and scans for links to other posts of mine – however, i ended up doing it manually. opening every post and looking on which other posts of mine i am referring. i could have done all the external links as well but i chose to focus on the inner net as it shows me a lot about my thinking… it was an experiment in fostering inner coherence by externalizing it :)

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